ON THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX

 

I’m beginning to think that this should have remained in my journal.

The phrase “think outside the box” is possibly one of the most life-changing phrases I have ever heard. As someone with claustrophobia, I must admit that my life was much better before I figured out that there was a box and I might be trapped in it.

After this gut-wrenching fear dawned on me, I began to struggle with every possibility of never getting out of this box; at the expense of my creativity. Although, I have become largely open to entirely new ideas that have most likely not been expressed, I have also found it extremely difficult to accept that I am allowed to develop or act on any idea that may seem relatively simple.

Plaguing my creative expression, is the compulsion to always offer something new and reject all forms of generality even when it completely drains me and leaves me in a self-hate filled slump whenever I can’t think of anything revolutionary. The issue with this is, I have made myself the only entity who can decide what is revolutionary or not without running it by other humans (or keeping in mind the emotions I hope to convey).

Being afraid of the box might be my fault because I had never considered that the box was not a small one and that there are still so many ideas within the box that might not have been explored.

I’m not writing this to make it come off as some life-renewing epiphany, I am writing this because I doubt that I am the only writer who goes through this (and maybe writing about something remote might help).

I hope to always remember that it’s okay to repeat themes; it’s okay to retell stories. What matters is that I can hear my own voice and keep parts of myself in the narrative, no matter how many versions of it already exist.